The Joke Thread- Post 'em if you got 'em.

[Skooter76]

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[Plum Cra Zy]

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What about the Proctologist?

 

[Skooter76]

 

[Rockcrawlindude]

 

[PrescottNorm]

Lone Ranger and Tonto after a long day riding across the plains came upon a ridge line over looking a small town. Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said “I’ll race you to town and loser will tend to horses, winner will a drink at the bar.” Sure enough Lone Ranger was first to arrive, gave his horse to Tonto and said “Tonto once you get Silver hitched I want you to keep running around him until he cools off”. As Lone Ranger was in bar having a drink he got tap on his shoulder and man said to him “Is that your white horse out there” where Long Ranger replied “Yes it is” Man then said “Did you know you left your engine running”.

 

[MoparMom]

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Ba-dum dum.

 

[Rockcrawlindude]

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Ba-dum dum.

Good ones

 

[GBB]

I have never in my life tried to pronounce an “L” so hard

Than when I just asked the Home Depot guy where I could get some “caulk”

 

[Aketay]

My friend got fired today from his job as a bingo caller…. Apparently “A meal for 2 with a hairy view” is not the way to call the number 69!

 

[Metternacht]

Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows?

They are making headlines all over the place.

 

[Rockcrawlindude]

You guys hear about the killer whales attacking boats?

Sounds like the attacks are orca-strated

 

[Metternacht]

A termite walked into a bar and asked, is the bar-tender here?

 

[flan]

 

[Sam 15]

A horse walks into a bar.....the bartender says, Why the long face.

 

[Adam06]

Why did the tomato turn red ?
Because it saw the salad dressing

 

[unclelala]

An old joke but it always got me snickering and probably not politically correct any more either, I am prepared to be banned. Here goes.

What is the worst part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheel chair.

 

[Metternacht]

Son: Dad, I am cold.
Dad: Go stand in the corner.
Son: Why
Dad: it’s 90 degrees

 

[Metternacht]

So yesterday, I went to a psychic.
When I knocked on the door, They said “who is it?”.
So I left.

 

[LateToTheParty]

How do you know when diarrhea is hereditary?

When it runs in your jeans

 

[Plum Cra Zy]

A horse walks into a bar.....the bartender says, Why the long face.

A pair of jumper cables goes into a bar......The bartender says, "I'll serve ya, but don't you
be starting anything!